Wilderness Jamboree

I got up to walk the dog this morning for my exceptional husband, in an attempt to let him sleep in. He always lets me sleep. Cody's schedule throughout the week dictates that he's walked promptly at 6:30am and 6:00pm. EVEN on Saturday. Eddie usually walks him in the morning; I take him in the evening.

Eddie didn't sleep, he's out getting breakfast and a few groceries to tide us over. I couldn't have married a more perfect man. I hate the store.

Last night we went to a 30th Birthday celebration for one of my high school friends. A collage of pictures (embarassing and otherwise) were out for all to see, from her birth to her motherhood. Eddie and I held hands while watching as her 4 yr old son impatiently handed her one present after the next. It was such a loving, family scene.

We've recently been talking about having one of our own. (a little tyke) Eddie knows I'm scared. I'm not scared of anything in particular, just SCARED. I have no fear about how Eddie will be as a parent. He's the perfect husband, the best friend and most caring and patient doggie daddy. That leaves me. I used to have time to be scared. We'll be celebrating my own 30th mile marker the middle of next year. I have a career I love, a home in the middle of constant redesign, a dog, and a marriage with my best friend. It's perfect, right?

I keep waiting for it to "feel right" or for someone to tell me, "Kristen, it's TIME." Both Eddie and I have parents that never push. We haven't felt the least amount of pressure to expand our brood from just the one puppy. Now, with our city in a constant state of flux, I want to see how everything looks after the dust settles in the coming year. I can't decide if I'm just being a bit selfish, making excuses or if I'm making sense. At present, 10 bucks a month is a small price to pay to wait a little longer.

Troop Beverly Hills is on. I believe I'll be watching that.


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