Milestones and Blind Trust

The first time we heard the baby's heart beating was supposed to be the moment that would let me release every crippling fear I had about being pregnant. It didn't. So I'd set another milestone to look toward, hope for The Moment that would free me, that would allow me to experience absolute joy. That instant didn't come in the presence of a doctor, a sonogram technician or while on the other end of the phone listening to a nurse with test results. It was the moment I decided to experience joy.

Just before I made an appointment to speak with a counselor, one of the steps on my way to That Pregnant Glow, my youngest aunt gave me the soundest piece of advice I've received in recent memory. She said that no matter the emotional preparations I'm attempting for the worst-case scenario, if it happens, it won't hurt any less. Why was I wrapping myself in worry when I could just be happy?

Just be happy.

It seems so simple. I have a gift for over-complication. Although I'm in a much better place than I was at week 10 or even week 15, I'm still on my way to absolute bliss. I'm smiling and looking forward to every little moment.

Week 17Week 18


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are beautiful. love you--Hollee

7/6/09, 3:40 PM  
Anonymous barb manes said...

So glad you are blogging. The mayonnaise story makes me laugh. I definately get that, good thing the men in the Manes family have so much more to offer then their names.

7/6/09, 6:28 PM  
Blogger lalibrarylady86 said...

You look so cute. As a professional worrier, I can attest that it really doesn't help and does hurt a lot. Try to savor every minute of this because it is such a unique experience of life.
Love all of you very much.

7/8/09, 8:04 PM  

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