I Owe Her

I don't know who she is but she saved me today. I was in a public place with a private issue.

Strategy: (1) Go down the vacant hall and enter the fourth door on the left. (2) Head down, no eye contact. (3) Choose an unassuming stall, enter it, close and lock the door. (4) SILENTLY take care of business, tidy up, exit...no one the wiser.

Actual, Real Life:
(1) The hall... not so vacant. I was in a public place. A college campus. During class change. It took some dodging but I was able to enter the fourth door on the left relatively unscathed.

(2) The eyes... LOTS of them. Lots of people in that crowded hall that I had to pass and weave my way around in order to get to that, "Excuse me." "Sorry." "I need to get over THERE." "Yes, I need to go in THERE." door.

(3) The stall... all were ASSuming. The doors don't really close, nor do they lock so I find myself in a precarious position of balance and contortion in order to secure my privacy in an effort to transition seamlessly to #4.

(4) The noise... So. I get in the stall, door closed (sort of) and I know this isn't going to go down as planned. There are waaay too many people in the bathroom for this to be any kind of a stealth-like mission and I don't know how much longer I can afford to be embarrassed when .....

Whrrrrrrrrrrr

Some anonymous angel, some telepathic, sympathetic girl hit THE HAND DRYER. I know she couldn't have known what a good deed she had just done, but my sin was erased. It was better than erased. It had never happened. I was free.

Girls, the next time you are in a public bathroom and you see those two feet, hoping to remain anonymous when you check under the stall (you know, to see if you're alone), pay it forward and hit that hand dryer. It will make the world a better place.

The Mystery Of The Deliciousness

This weekend I catered an anniversary party honoring the 60 years of marriage maintained by my Grandparents-in-law. (How much I am in awe of that is a different post altogether.) There were roasted and broiled and baked things. There were sliced and stacked and hot and cold things. Lots of people ate and it was good (or so I was told).

This afternoon, when I arrived home after a long day, I caught my husband making sandwiches with the last of the pork leftovers in the kitchen.

"You don't want any...do you?"

"No, you can have it."

"Yay."

"You know, I could teach you how to make that."

Pause.

Silence.

"uh..."

"You don't WANT to learn how to make it, do you?"

Pause.

Silence.

"uh..."

"You would rather smile and eat and let the mystery of the deliciousness remain an unsolvable puzzle, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. I love you?"

I love you too. Enjoy.

Schott's Original Miscellany

Tugs of War

Specifications of competition-grade rope, as prescribed by The
Tug of War International Federation:

The rope must not be less than 10 centimetres (100 mm), or more
than 12.5 centimetres (125 mm) in circumference, and must be free from knots or
other holdings for the hands. The ends of the rope shall have a whipping
finish. The minimum length of the rope must not be less than 33.5
metres.

Clean And Dry

Tomorrow morning Eddie and I have a new (to us) washer and dryer scheduled for delivery. I'm excited not only because we're getting new stuff, because getting new stuff is always fun, but I'm excited because they are free. I like free stuff. Eddie's grandmother has connections and we are often offered free stuff. Most of it we don't need or want, but we're smart enough to keep that pipeline open for things like... A FREE WASHER AND DRYER.

Score.

Our old clean-and-dry duo was old. I don't know exactly how old but they're both white, not avocado or mustard, so they're probably not as old as me but old enough to have to operate the dryer knob with a pair of smart grip pliers. I already love that memory.

I have a small amount of letting go to do when it comes to these appliances. We're certainly going to pass them on to someone who can use them because they still work well enough for the effort. It's a bit easier to give them rather than throw them away. It isn't like me to get the least bit emotional over a set of old appliances, but my PARENTS gave them to me.

This fact isn't what it seems. My parents never really had a lot of money. When Eddie and I got married, they didn't have ANY money. My parents are the kindest, most giving, appreciative people I've ever met. No matter the situation, they still believe they've been blessed in life. I've still got a lot to learn from them. Eddie and I paid for the majority of our wedding. It killed my parents that they weren't able to provide me with everything they thought I wanted with money they didn't have, so they used their talents to contribute.

One afternoon shortly before the wedding, my dad was on the way home in his Ford F150 and passed a pile of junk at the end of someone's winding, southern drive. In that pile, he saw our future washer and dryer. He turned around and gathered the discarded items into the back of his truck in hopes that he could give them new life in his work shed. He cleaned them inside and out, replaced various belts, knobs and hoses and presented us with a working pair.

They've worked for the past 4 years.


Thanks Mom and Dad. Thanks for always keeping me safe, loved, clean and dry. I love you too.

---ktm