The Real Reason We're Having This Baby

This past weekend Eddie and I were able to cross off an impressive two of the tasks on a running list in my head to ready our home for this tot. I am wise enough NOT to write this list down, but to reveal those items that are necessary to accomplish with the time we've set aside to do so. Actually committing the entire list to paper, screen, or anywhere else he could see it would be foolish. It could scare him away. Most of the items on the list involve an effective reorganization of the storage in our home to accommodate the newest member.

It's great to be able to finally share this verve for getting everything in order. I'm always motivated, because I get a natural high from the result. Case in point. Eddie's motivation stems from getting a head start on being a good dad. He's giving, kind and wonderful. And I will totally be taking advantage of this. The baby needs new cabinet doors next to the fire place in the living room.

After all of the work is done, we will have to rename the toilet paper room. Only 21 more weeks left to complete the list and consider yet another name for something.

Week 19

Milestones and Blind Trust

The first time we heard the baby's heart beating was supposed to be the moment that would let me release every crippling fear I had about being pregnant. It didn't. So I'd set another milestone to look toward, hope for The Moment that would free me, that would allow me to experience absolute joy. That instant didn't come in the presence of a doctor, a sonogram technician or while on the other end of the phone listening to a nurse with test results. It was the moment I decided to experience joy.

Just before I made an appointment to speak with a counselor, one of the steps on my way to That Pregnant Glow, my youngest aunt gave me the soundest piece of advice I've received in recent memory. She said that no matter the emotional preparations I'm attempting for the worst-case scenario, if it happens, it won't hurt any less. Why was I wrapping myself in worry when I could just be happy?

Just be happy.

It seems so simple. I have a gift for over-complication. Although I'm in a much better place than I was at week 10 or even week 15, I'm still on my way to absolute bliss. I'm smiling and looking forward to every little moment.

Week 18